bottoms of my feet itch

A Community of the Spirit
Rumi

There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street,
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
if you want to be held.

Sit down in this circle.

Quit acting like a wolf, and feel
the shepherd's love filling you.

At night, your beloved wanders.
Don't accept consolations.

Close your mouth against food.
Taste the lover's mouth in yours.

You moan, "She left me." "He left me."
Twenty more will come.

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.

Flow down and down in always
widening rings of being.

I'm heading out again tuesday. Things are a bit up in the air, as my friends' parents have been quick to demonstrate with a constant barrage of the standard wrong questions. Do I have a place to stay? not yet. Do I have a job, well no, that's why I picked up trash for two months this summer, to pay for rent, street food and dollar brahmas. Although I will miss the emory recycles folks - John, Claire and the guys made that place a blast. But up in the air or not, I'm gone.

I'd be lying if i said I'm not excited about fiestas, salsa lessons surprises and mountains. I think what feels strange about leaving this time is what i'm leaving. My roots feel a bit like a potted plant's - it's easier these days to pick me up and live elsewhere. But i've gotten a lot worse at connecting to people, and as time gets on i catch these glimpses of a stale and terrifying boredom just over the horizon. I have itches that are polar opposites: on one side "get out! what are you still doing here?! your time is wasting!" on the other, "get your act together! contribute! settle (down)!" They feel more and more urgent as I stick around in limbo, but a wise friend had great words about rushing into the future.

So while I've got the time, i'm looking for some surprises, awe, relief from ambition, huge meals, side-splitting laughter and a few good stories.