Saturday, October 07, 2006

charming puno


so... i'm not sure if any of you have ever been to lima, but if you have, i'm sorry.

my bus trek to get from quito, ecuador to puno, perú took me from quito to guayaquil, ecuador (7 hours) to lima, perú (26 hours) to arequipa (15 hours) to puno, perú (6 hours), all told, some 54 hours on a bus (by the way, the drivers of ormeño bus lines would like to inform you that the bathrooms will only be available for urnation... WHAT? i'm sorry, but that's less humane than making someone sit through a william shatner sing-a-long). so, my judgement may have been a bit skewed, my critical eye for a town's flare drowsy, my patience, exhausted. but man does that place suck mono tail.

i got out to have a drink of water and catch up a bit on internet stuff, sorry to whoever caught me while i was there, i was a bit more than cranky. but here's an unbiased account.

i go to an internet cafe in a rival bus company just up the road from wonderful ormeño, where they have a prominantly displayed mastercard sign. "i'd like a half hour of your finest world wide web access please." "how will you be paying sir?" "why, funny you should ask, with my sultan of all credit cards, mastercard." "i'm sorry monkey gut, we don't accept tarjetas de credito (loosely translated to we poo on your perception of reality, and did you like our joke about the mastercard sign on the window?)" "very well fools, could you direct me to your nearest dispensary of currency?" "certainly, just down the road."

i go to the atm, get out some cash, which is fine because i needed soles anyhow, and return to try again with my mashed potato brained friend. "i have returned to request once again your services as internet monger," "very well, have you any cash?" "why yes, i have lots of your local currency now, and would like to begin contributing to your economy without delay!" "oh, i'm sorry we don't have any change," "you don't have change for 50 soles? (translation, how does any business not have change for the equivalent of roughly $15?)" "no, why don't you ask at the bus terminal?" "good idea kind sir,"

"i'm sorry," says the uniformed bus chica, "we simply don't have any change" "oh, that's interesting (read: weasel dung! i just waited behind 4 groups of passengers buying tickets for your so called bus, how could you possibly not make change for $15?!)" "sorry sir, you'll just have to go someplace else." so i did. eventually i got change but man, on top of it being one of the most polluted cities i've ever been to, i couldn't wait to get out.

so as you can imagine, it was nice to finally arrive in puno, with crazy rickshaws and cheap hotels. i leave tomorrow morning for the floating islands of lake titicaca.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was the most entertaining blog yet....it seems the more hassle you go through the funnier your writing. Try breaking some serious cultural taboos and write about that next time. This could turn out to be a hit kid.
oooh....hhmmmm...wait, you might want to see if they have internet access in their jails first.

Joff Munro said...

Mike, it's your fellow Cotopaxi conqueror, Joff. Awesome blog, I miss Ecuador and the adventures, I must live vicariously through you. Keep the salsa lessons up, they work wonders back home. Trust me. Just wanted to check in, if you have msn send it my way. I'm leaving for India in a week, should be cool, but it's no Ecuador. Happy Travels.